Why is it so Hard to Enjoy a Day Off?

Getting comfortable with relaxing

Toil is no source of shame; idleness is shame.

Hesiod

Idleness among children, as among men, is the root of all evil, and leads to no other evil more certain than ill temper.

Hannah More

To be idle and to be poor have always been reproaches, and therefore every man endeavors with his utmost care to hide his poverty from others, and his idleness from himself.

Samuel Johnson

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i·dle

adjective

1. (of a person) avoiding work; lazy.

2. without purpose or effect; pointless

verb

1. to spend time doing nothing

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Suddenly everyone is talking about rest.

Rest is revolutionary.

Rest is an act of resistance.

And yes, you are exhausted. You would love to take a break, to slow down. The only problem is, every time you stop to enjoy unstructured time, your skin crawls.

You can hear your Sunday school teacher barking at you about idle hands and the devils workshop.

You feel compelled to drag yourself around the house piddling, binge eating, shopping, doing literally anything to make sure you aren’t sitting around “doing nothing”.

After a lifetime of being bombarded with negative messaging about idleness. It only makes sense that when we try to slow down, it feels deeply uncomfortable. The good news is that with practice you, like me, can master doing the least.

Ok, master might be a stretch; but, I’m definitely making progress. A major revelation that helped me along was that doing nothing is actually worthwhile.

It is not pointless. It is not indulgent.

Designating rest time for your brain and your body is proven to boost creativity, general wellbeing, and reduce stress.

Doing nothing is actually a key health and happiness building behavior.

And before you ask “but how do I do nothing”, consider experimenting with asking yourself what feels like a nice way to unplug - to you. Without putting any major pressure on yourself, look for opportunities to do that this month.

At the end of your experiment next month, I’ll give you a list of unplugging methods that other people have found helpful.

Remember that resting doesn’t have to mean sitting perfectly still looking at a blank wall if that isn’t what you want or need. The only guideline is to pick something that feels good to you and to do it simply for the joy of doing it (never mind the creativity and stress reduction boosts) pick something that you would like to do for the sake of doing it and nothing else.

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Premium newsletter supporters get group coaching via weekly community check-in threads every month. I can’t wait to hear how your experiment is going. If you want to share your journey and see what breakthroughs other people are having make sure to sign up to be a paid supporter.

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In Case You Missed It

Recent Interviews

The virtual book tour for Decolonizing Wellness continues.

These interviews have completely different vibes so it’s definitely worth checking them all out.

Sun Seed Community Podcast Laughs and Sex After Cult Life

This one is extremely personal and NSFW but I had a great time recording this one with Goddess.

Dalia Kinsey is a Holistic Registered Dietitian and Decolonized Wellness Coach and just plain dope! We dove into how we navigated our sex lives after escaping a cult and what reclaiming our bodies can look like with a lot of support, laughs, and boundaries. Dalia also shares some radical wisdom on how the health system is not properly supporting nor educating folx in sex ed.

The Body Myth with Ronit Plank

Dalia Kinsey joins The Body Myth for a conversation about looking at the body in a holistic way, how health intersects with racial identity in the US, systemic LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC  oppression and how allies in a lot of spaces tend to take center stage, why we don’t need to demonize any body size, and how as a culture we spend so much time trying to control our bodies instead of using our bodies to do the things we want.

Writing Black Joy

This episode we chat about ….

Identities, how we identify and how the language of identities is personal and changes over time.

Health vs healthcare and how our daily experiences and emotions including joy impact our health behaviors. 

Why Dalia wrote a book specifically for BIPOC and LGBTQIA folks.

How Dalia worked up the courage to write a book proposal and get a traditional publishing deal

Guilt-Free Rest Meditation

I’ve created a guided meditation to support your experiment with ease and rest this month. Listen to this as often as you like and share your experience in the group coaching thread.